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To forgive or to forget

Actualizado: 15 mar 2019


Learning to forgive is one of the most difficult and demanding challenges in one people lifetime. This is mainly because it is not something you can learn at any time, in fact you can only learn to forgive when harsh situations come and people disappoint you, that is, when suffering is involved.


Secondly, to pardon means such a difficult choice and one of those inner fights that never ends, perhaps because it requires a profound understanding of the other and the recognition of one self-imperfection and vulnerability. Forgiveness is closely linked to humility. In all human relationships failures and disappointments appear, because we are human and therefore imperfect. Whoever believes that does everything well will never be capable of forgiving other´s faults.





However, forgiveness is one of the most noble, attractive and admirable capabilities of a human being. Sometimes we don’t want to or we don’t really know how to forgive but we would love to have that easiness to pardon.Forgive does not mean to ignore what happened, but not to allow it to be a obstacle to the relationship. We ultimately know that, paradoxically the person who forgives is the one who receives more benefits from it. It helps us to get rid of the anger, the resentment and the hatred that we sometimes keep in ourselves. It makes us recover inner peace. "Whoever has experienced the joy, peace and inner freedom that comes from being forgiven can open up the possibility of forgiveness” stated once Pope Francis.


Forgiveness can be sincere and pure without necessarily signifying forgetfulness. You can forgive things even if when you remember them they still hurt you. What is more, we can forgive a person and love them despite not forgetting what they did. Indeed, who loves more deeply? A person who loves someone who has never failed him, or the one who forgives and loves despite failures? We all know how to love our friends, but the real challenge is to love the enemy, the one who let us down, and failed us. I really think that the person who does not acquire the power to forgive, included myself, is not capable to truly love. Love doesn’t keep record of wrongs.


However, as I said before, you can learn to forgive. It´s a conquest that we can win little by little, because forgetting is a voluntary act. It is a decision, you just need to have enough courage to take it.

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